ALAN: You should've seen that hippie guy last night at Phil's!
BRAD: What a pussy!
ALAN: He was all "Wah, wah, wah," we kicked his ASS.
JOE: I wish I'd gone to Phil's.
BRAD: Remember that dude with the beer?
JOE: Yeah, we're like, "You wanna fight?" BAM!
BRAD: That was great.
JOE: And this morning, that guy yelling at me about his shirt.
BRAD: What a pussy!
JOE: I was like "Yeah, you want your shirt?" BAM!
{Cel phone rings}
JOE: That's my landlord again.
ALAN: Put it on speakerphone.
LANDLORD: Hello, Joe?
JOE: Dude! What's up!
LANDLORD: I've been trying to get ahold of you, Joe.
JOE: Hey! I'm a dude, I don't...like...call up dudes and just say "Howya doin'?"
LANDLORD: You're in big trouble unless you come over here today and give me the money you owe me.
JOE: Don't make me hate you, buddy. We'll talk on Monday or something.
LANDLORD: Hate you? Joe, we're coming AFTER you.
JOE: Ha! You'll have to find me first!
LANDLORD: That won't be any problem. We'll find you, we'll take you to court, we'll f*ck you up for damages, we'll f*ck up your credit rating...it's easy stuff, Joe. We do it all the time.
JOE: You don't have my signature on NOTHIN', bro.
LANDLORD: We've got the lease.
JOE: You ain't got NOTHIN', bro! See ya!
{Hangs up}
ALAN: Dude, you're f*cked.
JOE: Really?
ALAN: You signed a f*ckin' LEASE.
JOE: Yeah...
ALAN: He takes you to court, you're SCREWED.
BRAD: You better go over there right now and pay him.
JOE: Yeah.
{Pause}
JOE: I wish I could just BEAT HIM UP.
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