After years of hearing them guest-star on other people's programs, I've finally gotten started on the Fred Allen Show proper. Here I am, listening to the first existent episode (from Christmas day 1932) and I'm already in love.
FRED: Who's first on your list?If I had a daughter, I would seriously consider naming her Portland.
PORTLAND: Grandpa. I wanna buy him some liver tonic.
FRED: "Doctor Groan's" is the best.
PORTLAND: Yes, that's very good. The man upstairs used that for twenty years. It cured HIM!
FRED: That's fine.
PORTLAND: He died last week.
FRED: Well, if he died cured, that's something.
PORTLAND: You can't blame the liver tonic.
PORTLAND: No! After the old man died they had to beat his liver with a stick for three days to kill it.