Creepy Pedro's Favourite Songs from Movies

• I was offended when Tina Turner sang "We Don't Need Another Pedro." In response to this insult I called her a "spoiled ham." When asked about this on television she called me "a no-talent meat-man," and we have not spoken since this incident.

• I was happier with her song called "Acid Queen" from "Tommy," which did not address me personally. But the song I REALLY liked in that movie was Ann-Margaret's rendition of "Beans, Beans, Beans!"

• "Indian Love Call," from I forget.

• In "Kiss Me Kate," when Ann Miller sings "Too Darn Hot," she is sexier than a cat with tap shoes!

• Songs about asteroids make me cry for obvious reasons.

• In "Forrest Gump," Tom Hanks farts in a way that I consider musical, if unstudied.

(A few years ago I wrote movie reviews for Genxine, the literary organ of Generation X Video. Some of them were pretty good, so I plan on reprinting them here, including those -- like this one -- that I don't believe were ever published).