"Constipation," Volume II

Fans of yeast will remember that two years ago I printed the words of Parisian Dr. Victor Pauchet, author of that world-famous book "Constipation." That was from the October 16, 1928 issue of The New Yorker.

Lo and behold, here in the August 2, 1930 issue of the very same magazine, we find Dr. Alberto Catalina of Madrid...

...He is the author of an important treatise, "Constipation."

I guess it was a popular title for books at the time. Folks used to be awfully concerned with their bowels, after all.

BONUS FUNNY JOKE

Included here is the testimony of Mrs. Marguerite Falkenburg, who had intestinal trouble until she started eating Fleischman's yeast. Please note the name of her hometown.

"Boils All Over My Back!"

It's May 1930 in the New Yorker magazine, and the cult of yeast is going strong. Witness this testimony from a man who I think is supposed to be a jeweler:

"Boils all over my back! I was miserable!" writes CLIFTON PRINCE, Worcester, Mass. "Seeing a cake of yeast under a microscope convinced me. It was full of living yeast plants! I started to eat it and the result was miraculous. Since then, all my family have eaten it. A doctor advised it for my grandchild. My son eats it as a laxative and a tonic."

One can only wonder what Mr. Prince would have done had he seen a sample of Plasmodium falciparum under a microscope -- popped the whole wad in his mouth, no doubt -- but I suppose yeast wasn't BAD for you...I just think people took too much of it, and expected it to cure everything from constipation to withered fetlocks.

What's amusing about all these yeast advertisements is that they come with a doctor's endorsement...but the doctors are always either German or French. It's like the German doctors owned shares in Fleischmann's. This week's eminent physician is Dr. Friedrich Kraus of Berlin, under whom half the great doctors of Europe have studied ("it is said"). It should not surprise you that all these yeast-hawking German doctors have strange white beards and resemble Freud.

What's Inside That Girl? Oh Yeah, YEAST!

As usual, I continue to report on the olde time cult of yeast.


This advertisement is from our usual suspects at Fleischmann's, and asks

Glowing lovely skin, eyes that sparkle, a radiant compelling smile--what are these but the mirrors of clean internal health?

What indeed! Proving once again that people will believe anything if you couch it in scientific terms, the copy actually says "Doctors estimate that nine out of ten of our common ills come from constipation." Remember that next time you sprain your ankle.

The Food Canal

With much thanks to Fleishmann's Yeast -- a product consumed by those who REALLY think that their bad breath starts in their intestines -- here's a confused young man and his stomach:

Thanks, confused young man!

"Yeast Stimulates the Intestine," He Says In Newspaper Interview

I know you rely on me to keep you abreast of all the most serious health menaces, so here's a picture of Dr. Victor Pauchet, Parisian doctor:


According to this October 16, 1928 advertisement in The New Yorker, Pauchet was a real authority about health because he wrote "numerous medical works" including "Surgical Practice" and -- everybody's favourite book -- "Constipation."

This ad for Fleischmann's Yeast (who else?) also contains this choice snippet from the "New York American" newspaper:

PARIS DOCTOR NAMES MENACES TO HEALTH. Dr. Pauchet names the three scourges as alcoholism, social disease and intestinal stagnation. It is for the last that he recommends yeast.

Strangely, in all the testimonials that have appeared for Fleischmann's Yeast throughout the years, I've never seen anybody complaining of a social disease. I guess yeast couldn't cure everything.

Yeast Saves the Window-Washers

"My work calls for steady nerves," said Mr. R. Royce Wilson in the September 1, 1928 issue of The New Yorker.

"RECENTLY I formed my own window cleaning business. I work on the job all day, and in the evening attend to the details of management--taking on helpers and getting new business.

"I am also keen on dancing. But pimples and blackheads embarrassed me and I felt below par from stomach trouble.

"My doctor advised Fleischmann's Yeast. It drove all the poison out of my system and completely cleared my skin. I come home with plenty of pep left over for dancing. What's more, the girls seem glad to dance with me."

Mr. Wilson comes across as a bit of a moron in this letter but I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it's because, instead of using a scaffold or suspension rig to wash windows on, he's just hanging out of the sill like a trained monkey.

The Yeast Parade Goes On

As usual, Yeast is turning the children into poop-machines:

"WHEN BENNIE was in such poor health, we didn't feel like taking week-end drives to any nearby beaches.

"But now that he is rid of his chronic constipation--thanks to Fleischmann's Yeast--he is a different boy--no longer listless and fretful...Since giving him Yeast he has had his first natural elimination in three months!"

Mrs. Benjamin E. Fielder

Now, when they go to the beach, I bet they stay really close to that bucket.

Fleischmann's Yeast: For Men Who Drag Little Girls Around

In the June 23, 1928 issue of The New Yorker, Stanley Carvet writes:

Returning from a tour of Africa and Australia, I found that I had contracted stomach trouble. Thinking it would wear off, I started east on a well-known vaudeville circuit. But instead of getting better, my trouble rapidly became acute. At Omaha I decided I would have to cancel the rest of my route. A fellow performer, however, suggested Yeast. Said I, 'I'll try it,' and that night I began. Every day I ate several cakes. Well, I was able to go right on with my act, thanks to Fleischmann's Yeast, doing three strenuous dancing shows daily. In a short time I was in first-class shape.

That's alright for you, Stanley, but what about that little girl? It amazes me that his name doesn't turn up a few police reports from Google, but I guess those vaudeville guys were pretty crafty (not to mention "tight").

The Yeast Makes Enemies

It's not unusual for the New Yorker cartoonists to make fun of their own sponsors, but here's my personal favourite:


If you're too lethargic and constipated to click on the picture for a larger view, he's saying "Yeast eater!" This an unquestionable reference to the advertisements for Fleischmann's Yeast, a ridiculous 1920's cure-all that I've been posting about occasionally.

You might be amazed to learn that Fleischmann's Yeast is still being sold, though no longer as a curative...people just bake bread with it nowadays.

You might also be interested to hear that Peter Arno -- originator of the "Whoops Sisters," who flounced through The New Yorker from 1925 to 1927 -- was also married to Lois Long, and somehow I think they both deserved each other.

How to Destroy Your Child's Natural Digestive Processes

From The New Yorker, August 14, 1928:
Yeast triumphs again!

"MY DOCTOR had prescribed Fleischmann's Yeast for my brother-in-law. So when my daughter Margaret became bothered with constipation it was the first thing I thought of giving her. At first she took it dissolved in milk, but later she ate it just like candy. In a month she was perfectly normal again. Now, whenever she goes into a store with me she says, 'Don't forget the Yeast cakes, mother.' They have been nuggets of gold to me."

The kid still looks constipated to me, and she's strangling a doll.

Yeast!

From its inception The New Yorker has carried weekly advertisements for Fleischmann's Yeast, which apparently cures everything from acne to insomnia, meanwhile improving "digestion" and upping the energy levels of people who had all but given up hope.

The ads always have photographs of healthy, vigorous people demonstrating what they can now do thanks to Yeast. All of them were in some way notable before their digestive/acne/blood problems began, and all of them are now able to return to the strenuous activities with made them notable in the first place: dancing, golfing, fishing.

Here's a sample testimony for Miss Myrtle R. Ivins from Philadelphia, pictured above:

During business hours, I meet many people, including the officers of the large firm where I work. Naturally, my embarassment was almost unbearable when, after an illness that upset my blood, my face broke out in pimples. I was actually ashamed to meet anyone.

What made it hardest to bear was that formerly my skin had been especially clear--kept so by an active outdoor life. I played some tennis and golf, swam and rode a little, and had done my share of hiking. But I had to give up all these sports, I was so badly run down. My whole digestive system became unbalanced.

My doctor suggested Fleischmann's Yeast. Today, after eating it faithfully every day for over six months I feel fine. My face has improved greatly. My appetite is splendid. I'm able to be back in the open once more, enjoying the sports I love.

By the 1940s these "yeast miracles" became fodder for radio comedians; I've heard many radio spoofs of the time that feature over-the-top testimonials about the life-changing effects of yeast.