Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Repentent Drinker

You're looking at an example of the old addage, "God looks after drunk and stupid people." This is my left boot. Doesn't look much like a boot, does it? Fortunately the heel only detached while I was limping into my apartment and not at any point earlier...for that alone I can be humbly thankful. If the heel had done this earlier I don't know WHAT I would have done.

Hallowe'en. My birthday night out. Seeing Dan Haner -- who I haven't seen in about two years -- back from Calgary. Wearing a costume that *I* thought was obvious but just confused everybody else. Drinking too many shots and filling up my stomach with awfulness. Head spinning, speech slurring. Wind, rain, sleet, and snow. Escorted out of the bar by the sweet busboy. Catching a cab instantly. Heel falling off. Lots of vagueness involving showers, weeping, and vomiting up something that looked like 3M Scotch tape. A disappearing cat. Calling Vanilla at 1:30am to please please please share my suffering and distract me. Thank goodness for Vanilla. Reality check. Wind whistling through the windows. Shivering and being a total suck. Spinning myself to sleep at 5am watching John Candy and Eugene Levy. The usual nightmare about needing to take a plane someplace but being unable to find the ticket. Daylight Savings Time. Awake for breakfast and a snowstorm. Listening to Aimee Mann and thinking what a beautiful birthday, what a horrible aftermath, and what was that stuff I threw up?


eric said...

Happy birthday! Hope you feel better.

Now I know why you didn't say hi in the chatroom last night. ;)

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Thanks for the wishes, Eric! I do feel better, though I'm struggling with a characteristic burning shame, hoping that I didn't act like a jerk all night (or look too sloppy). My brain gets fixated on the "how did you act?" thing for days and days. I go over the things that I remember and try to pull some objective truth out of it all.

I guess we're all allowed our stumbling, way-too-drunk nights! Fortunately, while I may sometimes not know when to quit, I DO know when to hightail it out of the public eye.

Yes, when I came in the door (falling over the dessicated boot) I realized what sort of horror I was in for. I thought chatting might help. But I couldn't focus or type so, I sat in the shower and moaned instead. Sorry for not saying "hi," but I probably wouldn't have been able to spell it anyway!

Eli said...

Yikes. Hope you're a little steadier today. And happy birthday!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Eli! Steady as a rock today.