Friday, September 29, 2006

Diana's Ankles Were Nothing Like Those of the Greyhound She Held in Leash

"Dame Nature didn't exactly CHEAT Diana on ankles. The fact is she was far too generous. Diana measured almost as much at the ankle line as the modern stocking does at the calf. And so, if Diana's fabled charms were weighed in the balance today and judged by 1926 standards of beauty, they would be found more wanting than wanted--UNLESS--unless she wore "Onyx Pointex"!"

The New Yorker, November 6, 1926, p.41.
Yup, while other hosiery retailers of the day were content just to pick on regular human beings, these "Onyx Hosiery" folks consistenly picked on STATUES. They kept saying that specific statues have fat ankles. Well, did they consider that those statues NEEDED to have thick ankles in order to keep them from falling over?

Might as well complain of a skyscraper's "fat waist" or something.

Sheesh!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please don't tease the skyscrapers about being fat. I really don't want to know what a skycraper has to do to binge and purge...

Allow people to enter and then spit them out when the other buildings are not looking?

Adam Thornton said...

DISPATCHER: "Police go to Metropolitan museum to investigate collapse of Dinoasuar."

OFFICER 1: What a shame.

OFFICER 2: Why?

OFFICER 1: That's my favourite singing star, that Dinah Shore.

("On the Town," Featuring Ann Miller, of course)

Anonymous said...

"Do my lower floors look too big?"

(http://spacing.ca/wire/?p=656)

About that ad - maybe Diana's ankles are calf-width because she's nine and a half feet tall? And for heavens' sake, she's skinny. But whatever - why am I defending someone who apparently strangles dogs?