Monday, September 04, 2006

The Smelly Girl Next Door

Anybody who's ever lived in an apartment knows how hard it is to get good, compatible neighbours. Somebody's always having sex above you, or yelling at their dumb friends in the parking lot, or using the hot water when you absolutely NEED to take a shower. Maybe they even sit out in your backyard and smoke dope and play bad guitar with their shirts off, which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Even so I've managed to survive for a long time without any serious problems with my neighbours. Until now. It's an odour issue.

The woman who lives across the hall from me makes really stinky food. It's pickled cabbage or something, an oriental meal that permeates the whole building and makes me ill. What's more, she eats it three times a day: morning, noon, and night. I want to leave a box of Kraft Dinner at her door, but maybe my food smells just as bad to her?

Maybe she's a healthy girl. Maybe her food -- which smells like sauerkraut, but ten times worse -- is really good for her digestive system. And maybe it partially masks the smell of my cat's litterbox, which I don't clean out as often as I should.

But holy cow. It's like smelling another person's intestines. It's a living hell. It stinks.


VanillaJ said...

Somebody's always having sex above me? Holy shit. Wake me when it's over.

Muffy St. Bernard said...

You didn't notice? You're a heavy sleeper, fortunately.

Smelly girl just ate her dinner. I can't help wondering what her BATHROOM smells like.

Anonymous said...

Look at the bright side: at least you're not going blind.