Thursday, December 14, 2006

Holy Cow! Lysol!

I remember running across this in an old movie magazine a few years ago, but here it is again in The New Yorker, February 19, 1927:
...it explains things so much better than I can.

There is much misinformation about feminine hygiene -- a subject so vital to health and happiness that it behooves every woman to beware of unprofessional advice and to learn the facts.

As a contribution to the proper understanding and practice of scientific bodily care the makers of "Lysol" Disinfectant offer a booklet which gives the facts -- frankly, explicitly and reliably. Its name is "The Scientific Side of Health and Youth" and its author is a woman physician who has combined sympathetic appreciation of woman's intimate problems with professional knowledge and experience...
Lysol didn't make a special "douche formula," they just wrote a booklet telling women how to spray a household cleaner into their vaginas. And what's IN that household cleaner? This book from 1936 gives you the details, and also provides some horror stories about its use:
It consists essentially of cresol, a distillate of wood and coal, which has been made soluble in water by treating it with soap. Cresol was discovered through the attempts of scientists to find a substance which would not be so poisonous as carbolic acid and yet as effective in killing germs. It is now recognized to be almost, if not equally, as dangerous as carbolic acid itself; swallowing Lysol has come to be a common -- but extremely painful -- means of committing suicide.
No wonder the kid in the picture looks so scared.

For another great Lysol douche ad -- a "love-quiz" that looks like it's from the late '30s -- click here.

16 comments:

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Errr, the advert is actually from the late '40s, so I was only a WHOLE DECADE off by saying it was from the late '30s.

What is my thoroughly discredited method for telling the difference between advertisements from these decades? If the woman's hair isn't quite as elaborate or tight, I say it's the '30s.

VanillaJ said...

The love test is priceless. How shamelessly advertisers depict the husband leaving the home because he'd rather go drinking with the boys than deal with his wife's un-lysoled vagina. I dunno. Maybe he's gay?

Muffy St. Bernard said...

You laugh now, but it may someday happen to YOU!

I have some Lysol around if you're feeling insecure.

VanillaJ said...

What may happen to me one day? I might realize I'm gay, or I might lysol-douche my vagina?

When I'm insecure, I prefer to fart nervously. I mean, why should I be the only one to suffer?

Muffy St. Bernard said...

I haven't seen a "love quiz" for nervous farting, but I'm sure the Lysol-douche quiz could be adapted!

I thought maybe, someday, your man might go out to play cards with the boys because HE'S gay, but then I thought, no, he'd rather brave your "woman smell" than to go out and play cards.

Anonymous said...

no gay man will brave the "woman smell" - hence the lysol

VanillaJ said...

At one point, all gay men endure the "woman smell" of their mothers. Aren't you glad she didn't lysol you out of existence?

Anonymous said...

C section is the way to go!!

VanillaJ said...

It's just too bad there is no prenatal test to detect if you are going to give birth to a vapid, woman-hating fag to help you decide on a C-section or not. Otherwise, a vaginal births don't seem to offend the rest of the population, who only through modern efforts to educate people regarding woman's issues, don't find our bodies the most loathsome disgusting things on the face of the earth.
To be fair, I know plenty of lovely gay men who are secure enough in their cock lov'n ways to be OK with my mysterious woman smell. God bless them.

Muffy St. Bernard said...

You said it, Vanilla. I will try to explain to every cock luv'n gay man that a vagina is nothing to be frightened of.

Morgan said...

perhaps Anonymous should be tied to a chair and forced to watch the Vagina Monologues over and over. It might help cure his (I am assuming it's a he) fear of the "Big V".

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Or make it worse! Aversion therapy can backfire...

Anonymous but not an ass said...

My daughter was about 8 when I explained to her that someday she would get her period and become a woman! What a day to celebrate! Not too long after that we were at an RV park, and I got my period while using the public restroom. I explained that we had to cut our walk short so I could go back and get a pad. She skipped all the way back, burst into the RV, and announced to her Daddy that we should get a cake to celebrate, 'cause Mommy just became a woman!'

Muffy St. Bernard said...

"Mommy, you'll be a woman soon..."

Now THAT's a cute story. Then I start thinking about those 1960s educational films -- sponsored by the makers of "sanitary napkins" -- to teach girls not to be afraid of menstruation...not because they cared about the emotional health of the girls, but because they wanted them to happily buy their product.

In all the videos (and yes, I have several DVD collections of early sex-ed films) the mothers promise their daughters that getting their period coincides with them getting their "woman-shape." Like, the daughter wants to buy a grown-up dress, but the mother says "no, you still have your little-girl shape!"

Then, after her first period, they buy the dress. And a pair of those odd garters that pads used to be slipped into.

Amalie said...

thsoe old pads were terrible. like having a mattress stuffed in your panties

Muffy St. Bernard said...

I can't even imagine!