Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Cat Nap Dream: Two Tall Police Officers

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, I'm walking past the Bauer Loft construction site. A truck stops and an apparently crazy man wearing wrap-around sunglasses approaches me.

MAN: Hey! Hey, do you know if it's okay if I take bread crumbs from birds? I'm only asking because I'm starving and I need some, I want to make dressing...

ME: Where do you want to get them from?

MAN: From Bird Island. I started taking bread crumbs and people started staring at me, calling the police on their cel phones.

ME: That's a protected area, for birds can't go there. I think it's okay if you take bread crumbs from birds, but there's a more serious problem of you simply GOING to Bird Island...

In typical dream style the man has suddenly become two police officers who are very, very tall...I'm craning my head back just to talk to them.

ME: You two are incredibly tall!

OFFICER 2: You've got to be tall to join the force!

ME: Is it your boots?

As we compare boots, a woman on a bicycle rides slowly past through the snow...I don't see her face, but she has pigtails.

OFFICER 1: Who's that girl over there?

ME: Oh, that's Molly Conchlin! She works at the...ummm...I know her...Hi!

The confusion here is that she's actually a woman named Erina, but I can't remember her name. When she turns to look at me I see that she isn't really Erina after all...she looks at me like I'm a pervert.

ME: No, guys, that's not Molly. Sorry. I'm almost blind, you see, I can't see faces...everything beyond about eight feet away is a blur.

OFFICER 2: {Showing a spiked wrist collar to OFFICER 1} So yeah, I want to get another one like it...

ME: Oh, go to Delirium Clothing! And have you been to Club Abstract?

OFFICER 1: We go there on Thursdays because that's Jenny's day off.

OFFICER 2: Mike has a crush on Jenny, but now she's going out with Joe, and the only day she doesn't hang around with Joe is Thursday...

High blood sugar wakes me up. I realize that I thought about Molly Conchlin because I was listening to "Our Miss Brooks" earlier in the day, and the rest of it is a combination of anxiety about my neighbours and anxiety about social awkwardness and Doing the Wrong Thing.

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