Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Cigarette Science

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...The Tobaccometer!



What does this amazing device do? It registers the temperature of cigarette smoke, using "a sensitive thermometer."
Every squeeze of the tobaccometer's bulb is a puff of the cigarette at the other end. And every puff tells something about cigarette smoke. The apparatus works at the rate of 10,000 puffs a day!

A chemist operating the tobaccometer recently tested two dozen leading brands. Egyptian and Virginia, expensive and popular-priced varieties...high-brow and low-brow.

What did the tobaccometer discover in these cigarettes? That Spud is 16.3% (Cent.) cooler than other brands.

There you are, cigarette enthusiasts!
And there you are, students of advertising schlock; pseudo-scientific studies that prove nothing have a long pedigree in the field. But I guess you need all the help you can get when you're selling people "Spud cigarettes."

Personally, I think it's most important that the tobaccometer only has three legs.

2 comments:

JJ said...

but surely a hookah is the coolest of them all?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookah

Muffy St. Bernard said...

But does your hookah do 10,000 puffs a day?

Errr, maybe it's better not to know. :)