Thursday, January 31, 2008

Yeast Saves the Window-Washers


"My work calls for steady nerves," said Mr. R. Royce Wilson in the September 1, 1928 issue of The New Yorker.
"RECENTLY I formed my own window cleaning business. I work on the job all day, and in the evening attend to the details of management--taking on helpers and getting new business.

"I am also keen on dancing. But pimples and blackheads embarrassed me and I felt below par from stomach trouble.

"My doctor advised Fleischmann's Yeast. It drove all the poison out of my system and completely cleared my skin. I come home with plenty of pep left over for dancing. What's more, the girls seem glad to dance with me."
Mr. Wilson comes across as a bit of a moron in this letter but I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it's because, instead of using a scaffold or suspension rig to wash windows on, he's just hanging out of the sill like a trained monkey.

5 comments:

The Vicar of VHS said...

Hi,

I found your blog after googling "The Last Voyage of Somebody the Sailor," which I read years ago and just thought of again recently. Great stuff, and I'm enjoying what I've read.

I wonder, do you ever listen to the old radio horror dramas, particularly Arch Obeler's "Lights Out"? I ask b/c in the mp3 collections I've got (which I bought from OTRCat a while back) they kept a lot of the commercial breaks in the stories, and a lot of them were sponsored by "Ironized Yeast," which made a lot of the same miracle claims as Fleischmann's, apparently. Who knew yeast was a wonder drug?

I particularly like the ones where a young girl complains of having been "too skinny," but thanks to Ironized Yeast put on the extra weight that made her attractive to men. Here's a print ad to that effect. And here's a page with an audio sample..

Anyway, funny stuff. Keep it up. And if you like weird horror, check out my review blog.

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Ahhh, I'm so happy to read your review of "Liquid Sky!" I grew up with this movie and it was sort of a forcible entry for me into New York avant garde. "Me and My Rhythm BOX!"

I was lucky enough to see this at our local Rep theatre...it's quite the treat in widescreen! And the DVD, if you have it, contains a TON of odd bonus material, including degraded early videotape of the cast auditions.

I'll definitely need to look more at your blog!

I know that "Lights Out" comes highly recommended, but I haven't picked that one up. It might be worth it just to catch up on those yeasty tales that I've missed!

I particularly love "Quiet Please" (also from OTRCat...VERY strange and unlike anything else) and South Africa's "Beyond Midnight" is also a treat. The sci-fi show "Dimension X" sometimes edged into outright horror as well.

Are there any other series' you'd recommend?

The Vicar of VHS said...

I'm afraid "Lights Out!" is the one I'm most familiar with. I've got a sampler CD that came with my "Lights Out!" order that I think has some "Quiet, Please" on it, but I haven't listened to it. Funny, I love OTR, but at the same time I haven't actually listened to much of it. Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself.

Unfortunately I only have an old VHS of Liquid Sky, but I'd be interested in getting my paws on the dvd; it's definitely a unique cinematical experience. I'm quite jealous of you that you got to see it big screen. Living in the buckle of the Bible Belt, I don't get many of those opportunities.

Here's some more creepy sounds I found. I just love this stuff. What would I have done without the Internet to feed my spooky obsession? :)

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Ahhh, wow! I had that "Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House" record! I haven't heard it since I was six or seven, but I'm sure it contained "Martians Eating Bones" and the requisite howling cats.

I'll have to check it out further (and also add a link to your blog during the next blogroll update).

Really, do yourself a favour and check out "Quiet Please," it's the creepiest of them all.

It seems alien for us to sit in one spot and listen to something for thirty minutes, I know...I found that by playing solitaire (Klondike), or "solitaire Mahjong" I could keep my 21st century eyes busy while my 20th century ears listened.

The Vicar of VHS said...

Even better, burn them to CD for your late night cross-country road trips, or for jogging before sunrise...

Okay, I'm definitely going looking for "Quiet Please."