They discontinued every lipstick I ever loved. They discontinued my eyelash glue. They even discontinued my FOUNDATION, all in an attempt to break my spirit and soul.
But this time they've gone too far. Apparently they have discontinued my 3M adhesive tape.
Have you ever wondered how I construct my cleavage? I use adhesive tape from 3M, which in my world stands for "marvelous man-made mammaries." It's cheap, it's gentle, and it grips like a tetanus-afflicted ferret. You can sweat like a pig -- and I do -- without ever loosening the loving stranglehold of properly-applied 3M. I've spent years developing the perfect way to construct the perfect cleavage. Let's just say I DEPEND on this tape.
After ten years of unflagging service, however, it appears that my miracle tape is being discontinued. PANIC! Vanilla and I managed to find a five-roll stash at Zellers today, which will last me a few more months at least. Long after other queens have resorted to turtleneck-gowns I will be doing my best to remain proudly on display. Because that's just what I do.