Sunday, July 06, 2008

A Mystery


Guess!

...

Have you guessed?

YOUR idea is probably WAY more interesting than the REAL reason, so tell me: Why is this man Pounding the Table in 1929? And don't say it's because he's excited about the Pittsburgh Press newspaper chain, because that would be dull.

16 comments:

johnny atomic said...

He just found out that the girl he thought was so cute is actually a drag performer?

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Good guess! Such guys DO sometimes "pound the table" when that happens, though usually they either "take two steps back" or "step on the gas."

johnny atomic said...

I see, but the slang variants are ambiguous (The problem being the use of the word “the”). Did the man begin pounding HIS OWN table in frustration, or did this new relationship work out? Is he pounding someone else’s table? Is the look on his face consternation or passion? Is this occurring during a quite dinner or at Disney World? I don’t have any of these answers because I have never had a crush on a drag performer. I was just guessing, as you said…

Gary said...

Since it's 1929, perhaps he's seen his stock portfolio plunge.

Or, perhaps, he met the young lady shown in your previous item, and did not have a Camel to offer her. (Or, he did offer her one and she gave him that old, "Lips that touch tobacco will never touch mine" line (a little ahead of her time).

Or maybe Johnny Atomic had the right idea, after all.

Lois said...

If you could read his lips he's probably saying.....
"Yes, you will give up that job! No wife of mine is going to work outside the house. YOUR JOB IS TO STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF ME"
(he is yelling while thumping table for emphasis.)
Hee...hee...hee...
Hmmmm......wonder if I could get my hubby to say that? I'd quit my outside the home job in a minute.
LOL :)

jj said...

"Why do I always end up losing in the photo caption contests?"

The Vicar of VHS said...

Because the table leg keeps coming loose and this is the only way to repair it?

Because it's a BAD table and deserves to be punished?

Because he's coated his hand in Lemon-Scented Pledge and plans to give that dullness and those streaks WHAT FOR!

Am I close?

Anonymous said...

because Reubens reported the chocolate layer cake he STUFFED HIS FACE WITH and his agent has him on a strict no carbs diet. shameful

Muffy St. Bernard said...

JJ, it's BETTER than a caption contest...because it already HAS a caption! :)

Mr. Atomic, I agree that context is everything and that the word "the" is important here...but which "the?" Notice that he's not referred to as "a" man but "THE" man. Maybe "the man" wants more power, or maybe "the [last] man [on earth]" is lonely?

Gary, nice catch on the stocks. Since this is JANUARY 1929, however, he is probably complaining that he doesn't have ENOUGH stocks...because the markets will be stable FOREVER!

Lois, he does have that rapacious "listen to me, little woman" look on his face. I bet he's in love with the girl from the stenography pool and now he's "putting her in her place" ("Don't give ME an ultimatium, missy! And if you call my wife one more time I'll make sure you never work in this office again! My dad OWNS this place!")

Vicar, the "furniture cleaning" angle is truly a novel one. I have never met an executive with a lemon-scented fist, however, so I can't vouch for its realism.

Anonymous, I bet he was spotted ABSOLUTELY CHOWING DOWN on the famous Reuben's mustard-and-chives hoagie!

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Though somehow I bet he eats at the Automat.

scott said...

He was aiming for his crotch, and the table got in the way.

This was, of course, after Johnny Atomic's original scenario.

jj said...

And now would you explain why "pound the table" "take two steps back" or "step on the gas." are in quotes? :)

Muffy St. Bernard said...

I see, now we have META explanations which interpret PREVIOUS explanations. A strange loop! My post is conscious!

Sorry, I just spent half an hour writing the new post about Douglas Hofstadter's book.

Muffy St. Bernard said...

JJ, good question.

"Pound the table" was in quotes because it was a quote, and also a sort of idiomatic phrase...

...but "take two steps back" and "step on the gas" were originally in quotes because, when I wrote the comment, I was trying to find similar idiomatic phrases involving "pound" ("pound the pavement" for instance), but I couldn't find phrases that worked for all three...

...so I just posted the comment and forgot to remove the quotes. :)

Anonymous said...

he's upset because he doesn't know how the electric news ticker (or "zipper") that circled the One Times Square building works. He's behind on your blog :)

Muffy St. Bernard said...

You're right, that would TOTALLY make me pound the table! "Damn it, Mack, get the goods on that zipper!"