Wednesday, August 13, 2008

To Gentlemen Who Occasionally Want to Kick the Cat


So yes, I'm still alive, but I've had "one of those weeks." Not only was I spectacularly sick, dealing with money troubles, canceling all my social appointments, and taking my car into the shop...but through all this my cat was urinating on the basement floor.

You might know what stale cat pee smells like: sharp, evil, headache-y. If the Wicked Witch of the West ever got over her hydrophobia and took a pee, I bet it would smell like that.

Feverish, snotty, and exhausted, I kept on scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing...and then, a few hours later, the pee was back with its attendant odour. Things reached a head when, on Saturday night, I brought a person into my apartment who physically FLINCHED at the front door, and then suggested we "open a window and turn on the fan." And not just because I'm so damn hot.

The next day I scrubbed the basement floor again, and I bought baking soda and spread it around. Then -- in a moment of inspiration -- I put a deep ceramic saucer on the ground where she tends to pee. Lately she's been urinating directly in that saucer, which I quickly empty -- the smell isn't NEARLY so bad when it's fresh and unable to ooze into anything.

Why has she started doing this? I suppose it began with her bladder infection; maybe she associates the litter box with stress and pain now. It's time to buy her a new box anyway.

As for the infection itself, I've been sticking pills down her throat twice a day for almost two weeks, so supposedly the problem is gone. Once I have vacuumed and cleaned up the detritus of The Cloistered Sickly Muffy, my apartment will once again be safe for visiting.

PS: Why does that guy in the picture want to kick his cat? "It usually isn't any antipathy to Tabby's furry innocence...it's just that you're out of sorts...brain groggy...nerves jumpy...every man has had such days. Possibly you're smoking the wrong cigars."

The advertisement says that Muriel cigars will NEVER get on your nerves, and will "fetch you up at the end of the day with a smile as sweet as a baby's." Shiver.

5 comments:

Sweet Somethings by Lois said...

Hi Muffy!
Aww....poor baby! :(
Sounds like you have had a real pissy week. (Pun intended.)
I hope you are feeling better.
I hope your car is feeling better too.
Clean the area that ZsaZsa has become attached to with a bit of bleach. Might help. Can't hurt.
That was a brilliant idea with the saucer. If you were British and a bad punner (is that a word?) you could say it was on the floor for ZsaZsa to "have a spot of pee"....oh that was really bad wasn't it?
As for the guy in the picture kicking the cat...who knows?!?
Could be the cigar smoke is killing what few brain cells he has faster than he can inhale.
My Hubby John often threatens to kick our Baby Cat Oscar but it's only because Baby Cat doesn't shut up....ever. He's always making some kind of noise, Baby Cat not Hubby John, and so it does get on your nerves sometimes. Don't be alarmed, Hubby John would never hurt any cat. He always makes sure the cat water and food dishes are full. So he really isn't a bad guy and he doesn't smoke either.
Anyways Muffy, I hope your back on your toes and dancing real soon.
Have a great rest of the week.

jj said...

you poor thing! On a total non-sequitor(sic) note, you do know what they call men who like to dress in gowns and wigs, don't you?


They call them "lawyers". :)

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Lois..."a spot of pee?" You have outdone yourself!

I should clear up that I called it a "saucer" because I couldn't think of the proper word for it. It isn't actually a teacup saucer, it's one of those things you put under a potted plant.

So it's safe to have tea at my appartment!

It's AMAZING how vocal some cats can be, and it really underscores their individuality. Zsa Zsa is an interactive sort of talker, but she isn't afraid of silence.

Muffy St. Bernard said...

You've been waiting for YEARS to tell that joke, haven't you jj?

Kimber said...

Get well soon Muffy!