Kink!

For a self-proclaimed asexual blog, there's been a whole lot of sex-talk here for the past month. I say this now because, tomorrow night, I'll be performing at Guelph's "Kink Event."

I always find it worrisome that people tend to equate drag with sex. Sure, I may dress in a sexualized way, but that does not mean that I am either FEELING particularly sexy or that I am SOLICITING sex. In fact, I am so aware of the fragility of my drag-illusion that I try to stay as far away as I can from graspy or damp things: I am there to be (if anything) visually interesting, and nothing much more.

That's not to say people SHOULDN'T find drag sexy -- either to perform in or to be attracted to -- only that it shouldn't always be assumed to be sexual (or rather, "carnal"), which in many cases (including mine) it just isn't. At least not in a fetishy way.

So the fact that I'm performing at "Kink" -- whose playbill promises the exploration "pleasure and excitement" -- is a bit strange, since my idea of an ideal drag number is either a cutesy '50s-style song of chaste silliness or a totally misanthropic rant about emotional dysfunction. How can I compete with the "porn screening room" and the "erotic art?"

In this case I need to bite the bullet (or perhaps the pony-girl bit) and dig out the more explicit numbers that I do for particularly horny crowds (when anything less would be cause for mass audience evacuation). But as I'm searching through the archives I think...

...hey, if *I* resent my method of expression being characterized as sexual, does the "kink" crowd feel the same way? Is it condescending for me to assume that a kink audience WANTS sexy songs?

Well, it doesn't take much perusal of the handbill to see that the show IS about fetishy sex, so I think I'm justified in assuming that sexy numbers will be appreciated. But this still makes me wonder if "kink" -- outside of this particular event -- is always sexual. Are there non-sexual expressions of BDSM?

In any case I'm sure it will be a fun time, but I absolutely NEED to find a stuffed cat in order to defuse the over-the-top nature of "Pussy" by Lords of Acid. The only one I could find today was a "nursing mother cat," which would add a particularly perverse level to the song that I don't think I can deal with. I told the saleslady that I was looking for something more "traditional," and after I walked away I thought...God, that sounded REALLY conservative.