Friday, March 07, 2008

Burnt Holes in a Blanket

One wonderful thing about the complete collection of New Yorker DVDs is the odd, blotchy compression algorithm that turns jolly pictures into snapshots from hell. For instance, witness this mutilated advertisement for Fougere Royale aftershave lotion, which looks like a still from a Tod Browning picture.

Just based on the illustration I'd think the copy should read "Your dead ancestors, newly jealous, will melt your face if you use our product!" But the story is actually more prosaic:
Suppose you were out most of the night. No need to tell the world about it. Greet the cold, grey dawn with a smile--with a sparkle in your eye, instead of the "burnt holes in a blanket" effect. Chase the tired, sleep-famished look from your face. The set wooden expression that everybody knows is the "morning after" look.
For the provincial boor (that's you and me!) a convenient note reminds us: "Pronounced Foo-Zhaire Royal."

2 comments:

tanzi said...

That is effing creepy! Although, the airbrushed ads for make-up and women's perfurme these days are often equally horrifying...

Muffy St. Bernard said...

I know! The only time I read them is when I'm at the hairdresser's, and I think...wow, is this considered somehow NATURAL?