Thursday, June 05, 2008

An Interesting Facebook Phenomenon

Every once in a while on Facebook I am deluged by "friend requests" from mysterious men. The only friends I have in common with these people are a small group of the sexier drag queens and she males in Kitchener and Toronto. I look at their profiles and see that ALL of their friends are attractive she males in provocative clothing, usually with their legs in the air. There is a definite trend. My own profile picture (of me kissing a hamster) seems slightly out of place.

What's most fascinating, however, is that these men ALWAYS list themselves as "Male, seeking women." I can't help wondering if they are being flattering to the people they're stalking (assigning them an unreserved female gender), or if they're so closeted that they can't even admit they want to have sex with men...even though the only people who will ever see the profile are the very men they're trying to have sex with.

This is actually sort of fun for me. I try to keep my list of Facebook friends small, because I don't view friends either flippantly or as objects to be collected. Usually a friend request is an agony for me, because I'm torn between only accepting "real friends" and not wanting to hurt or reject anybody (or burn any bridges). So I sit there pondering the Accept and Ignore buttons before just giving up and making a new Facebook friend.

These mysterious men with their conflicted desires are the only Facebook friends that I can easily -- even gleefully -- reject with the understanding that they are not IN ANY WAY friends of mine. This is a form of power that humans have been reveling in since sex took on the glittering sheen of weaponry...and like all weapons, it should only be used against those who don't really care about you.

6 comments:

The Vicar of VHS said...

I've only recently joined the myspace thing--I'm not on facebook--but I too am getting strange friend requests. Some are obviously spam, but some are real people whose real names are not immediately visible and whose motivations for trying to "friend" me are obsure. I mean, I like making friends, but I don't want to take candy from strangers...

Is it possible these "straight male seeking ladies" guys just don't KNOW? I don't know what the profile pages say/don't say, so anything's possible...

As an editor now I also get a strange thrill from the power to reject folks. Sad but true. I've been rejected so much in my life (both by editors and by non-publishing related people) that the little demon in my brain does cackle at it, I'm ashamed to say.

"Oh yeah, you wish you'd been nicer to me NOW, don't you?"

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Yes, I have that little cackling reject-demon as well, and though I try (successfully or not) to aggressively root out most of my more unpleasant traits, for some reason I allow that one to continue unmolested.

It's nice to know that somebody else enjoys rejecting online "faux friends." MySpace is particularly bad, probably because you can (usually) view complete profiles without being a friend first.

These "straight male seeking ladies" people certainly do know, because ALL of their "friends" are drag queens, she males, and M-F transgendered. Their profiles are sparse, usually only showing a generic-looking picture of some guy who could be anybody.

Strangely, though, many (but not all) of them appear to be middle-eastern, Italian, or Spanish. Which bears out my observation that such societies have SOMETHING going on that they don't talk about publically.

Hilda said...

I love facebook! I joined recently and like it much better than My Space.

Muffy St. Bernard said...

Hey Hilda, friend me! Friend me!

I agree, I don't see anything that MySpace does that Facebook doesn't do better (except for allowing a tiny bit of .mp3 storage space for bands).

I no longer go to MySpace. It doesn't help that it's really ugly.

Hilda said...

I don't know your info!

Why don;t you "friend" me - search for me as Hilda Alvarez-Strang.

What fun!

Muffy St. Bernard said...

It is done!