Friday, April 13, 2007

Forget the Groundhog; Listen to the St. Bernard

Nobody at this latitude is happy about the least nobody *I* know. We're tired of being cold and bundled up, and we're also tired of gooping our "swoopy curl" with pomade and then looking like a girly fascists at work because the gale-force wind messed up our hair. Correct?

But that's no reason to pretend that spring is "just around the corner." No amount of pretending or praying or collecting pop tabs will hasten the arrival of spring.

I can't do anything about the weather myself, but I CAN tell you when winter is officially over. I don't use the calendar or the almanac, and I don't pay any attention to groundhogs either. I have a foolproof method that works every year: I watch mounds of snow in parking lots.

Traditionally I've watched the mound in the Sun Life Financial parking lot, but this year they've scattered it around so it melted early. Sun Life gets two extra parking spots, but loses an invaluable weather aid. As a surrogate mound I'm using the snow in the parking lot for the Erb & Best Funeral Home. I took a picture of it today so you can see it:

I call it "Mount Hussey," named after Leonard Hussey the polar explorer. This mound of snow is perfect for measuring the end of winter because it gets a fair amount of sunlight every day, and it doesn't look like anybody will soon attack it with a shovel.

When Mount Hussey melts, I'll tell you, and THEN winter will be over.

But don't hold your breath. The mountain is mighty sturdy.


Eric Little said...

The atmosphere in general has led me to believe that this might be a good time to pull a Captain Oates:

'I am just going outside and may be some time.'

Adam Thornton said...

That's mighty brave of you, Captain Little.

HEY! Who took the morphine?

tanzi said... I get it!
And I was hoping "hussy" was inspired by something less clever and far more slutty.