Kicking Out the Crazies

I served so many customers at Tim Horton's that I was bound to deal with many difficult, aggressive, and downright crazy people.

If you've never been in that situation, then you can't imagine what it's like to have to assert a non-existent authority in the face of downright nuttiness: you can tell them to "get out" a hundred times, but they can simply call your bluff until you phone the police, and even then it could take half an hour for them to show up. Crazy people also tend to act up during the busiest times, when you can least afford a distracting confrontation...they probably know that if they bug you when you're busy, you might give in to their demands just to get rid of them.

I was sitting in a Tim Horton's tonight when a bouncy girl came in with her boyfriend. She started talking to one of the new employees:

GIRL: You're new here, right? I used to work here too, I'm still waiting for Sandra to send me my last cheque. I quit last week, and you know what? I had five dollars in tips from my last day, but I forgot to take them with me, and somebody STOLE my tips, can you believe that?

EMPLOYEE: Wow.

GIRL: So I called Sandra today and she said I could just come in and get two free medium cappuccinos. I'd like to get those now, one with milk and one with lots of chocolate.

EMPLOYEE: Uhhh, just a minute...

GIRL: Hey, I just want my cappuccinos, Sandra said it's okay.

It was obvious to me that this girl was full of crap, but she was so bald-faced CHEERFUL about it. The employee went and got her supervisor.

This supervisor is only about 17 but she's a tough girl...it was fascinating to listen to her struggling to keep calm, ALMOST swearing but then remembering her role and cutting herself off. It was an admirable display.

SUPERVISOR: Yeah, Eileen, you've got to leave now.

GIRL: I came for my cappuccinos. Sandra said I could have them.

SUPERVISOR: You stole sh... You stole stuff and Sandra said we can't give you anything.

GIRL: You get on the phone and call Sandra, she'll tell you.

SUPERVISOR: Sandra was already here and told us we can't give you sh... Ahh, get out of my store NOW.

GIRL: I'm not leaving until I get my cappuccinos.

SUPERVISOR: I'm calling the police.

GIRL: Call Sandra!

SUPERVISOR: Get out of my store, girl!

GIRL: {Appealing to the customers standing in line} I can't believe this place, I can't get my cheque, they won't give me the cappuccinos they owe me.

SUPERVISOR: You are DAMAGED, girl!

GIRL: Huh? I have a UNIVERSITY DEGREE, you know.

SUPERVISOR: You got a degree, why're you workin' at Tim Horton's? Get out of my store NOW.

The girl did leave, promising to call the manager to get it all "straightened out." The supervisor, suffering post-adrenaline freakiness, explained to the customers that this person does this every day.

As Delirium-gal Annissa screamed at me last week: "Has the whole world gone MAD?!?"