Saturday, May 12, 2007

Is That You, Minnie?

My goodness, one HECK of a week getting everything organized for my trip. Which sessions will I attend at the conference? I'm particularly looking forward to one called "If You're So Smart, Why Does Your Writing Suck?" Where should I go for fun? Brass Rail, Ground Zero, Euphoria, and Gay '90s all look entertaining. What should I wear when I'm there? How much money should I bring? How can I break it to my cat?

Savvy traveller that I am, I've managed to "trim the fat" and bring only the barest (and lightest) essentials. Meanwhile, next door, my sweet neighbour and her boyfriend are trying to trap a squirrel that chewed its way into her apartment, and she just told me that she's moving out in two weeks. Horror! She was so nice and quiet. The next people will probably be a bad death metal band with rotten breath. And a baby.

On Thursday I participated in the Yearly Duckling Rescue, which means catching and relocating the freshly-hatched babies out of the impossible nesting place that mama duck often chooses. Only the hardiest babies can get out, so unless we climb up there, the majority will die. In between vicious attacks by mother duck herself I also managed to gouge my arms countless times on the Juniper, which it turns out I'm allergic to. So I'll be going through customs looking like I have the next big Canadian disease.

Think of me! Send good vibes! May I be healthy, happy, respected, and safe! Amen.


Eric Little said...

Well, I already told you that, but what the heck, I'll tell you again--have a safe trip and a wonderful time.

Since you are a veteran duck-trapper, you'll have to come over the next time a duck gets trapped in my house, which happened a couple of weeks ago. We figured it flew down the chimney (someone didn't close the flue) and knocked open the glass fireplace doors.

This coming a week after the incident of the drunken student wandering into my kitchen at 2:30 a.m. ("What are you doing here?" "I'm just checking to see if everything's all right.")

Anonymous said...


Remember to feed me before you go and I won't poop in your shoes or knock Ronnie over.

Adam Thornton said...

Vanilla, make sure Zsa Zsa doesn't make any long-distant calls.